Final pre-op prep

I'm heading in for my surgery tomorrow so just thought I'd update you on the final things that have happened this week. Since my pre-op check-up I have seen the cardio oncologist again, for the results of my various heart tests. She was very reassuring and said all the test results seem fine. She suspects I have what is called Ventricular Ectopy, where my heart decides to give an extra beat every now and again, for a short burst, which explains my chest pain and the fact that I'm feeling my heart beating quite aggressively. She said it's nothing to worry about in the short term, that I'm fine to proceed with surgery, but that if it's still happening in a couple of months I should head back in to see her. She did, however, point out that my blood results show I'm anaemic, so she has advised that I receive a blood transfusion after my surgery rather than simply being left to build my bloods back up on my own.

I also received a call this week from the clinic to say my bloods needed doing again, so it appears that they are not as good as they could be. The nurse told me my magnesium and potassium are low, or something like that (I didn't take notes) and she took three more vials from me to do further tests. Due to 6 months of sustained chemotherapy, my veins are not as good as they used to be, and have a tendency to collapse when someone tries to put a needle in them. She tried her hardest but had to use a vein that was quite deep, and now I have a huge bruise on my left arm! I asked the google what I could do about collapsed veins, thinking there might be some things I could do to help them regain their strength (such as drinking lots of water doing exercises etc) but all I unearthed were helpful websites urging me to stop doing drugs! It seems as though that's the main cause of collapsed veins, and the advice is all very admonishing, so I retreated. Anyway, hopefully they got what they needed at the hospital and my bloods are getting better.

Finally, this morning I had to go into the nuclear medicine department again so that they could inject me with some radioactivity. The nurse was fabulous and explained how it all works, before injecting it into my boob near the nipple. It only stung a little and now I'm back home. After the injection, she took a marker pen, circled the area she had injected and put a little arrow towards it with 'INJ' next to it! I suspect that is not the last time I will be written on with marker pen. Oh well, if it helps the surgeons I really don't mind. So tomorrow they will apparently use a Geiger counter to see where the radioactivity has gathered, and this will help them see where my primary lymph nodes are, to aid them in taking them out. It's all so fascinating.

At the nuclear medicine dept this morning. Far too early for Tanai!

On the way home, we stopped at St John's bakery and bought two donuts. They make delicious fresh donuts every day and fill them with different creams and custards. Tanai got one with honey and brandy cream, and I got one with a delicious spiced custard. This has become a bit of a tradition now, buying St John's donuts at each stage of my treatment. It's so lovely to have it to look forward to.

Today's yummy donuts

This weekend I also went to my first gig at the Roundhouse since the day before I received my prognosis back in March (we went to see Sampha and the very next day got all the test results). There was an all-day festival featuring some really funky music, including the Hot 8 Brass Band, who were great. I managed a whole glass of wine and we stayed out until 9pm! Crazy. After 6 months of being very boring and primarily staying home, it felt like a real treat.

I finally have a social life again

We also spent Sunday ferociously batch cooking, so that we have a freezer full of food in readiness. Although Tanai does love cooking, it's likely I will have mobility issues for a while in my right arm, so might not be able to cook for a while. Rather than have him cook every single night, I thought it would be nice to stock up on some yummy meals in our freezer. The flat still smells delicious!

Chef Cardona

We also did some DIY and installed a new ceiling light in the kitchen to brighten up a dark corner. We received a lesson from my dad over video whatsapp and then turned off the electric at the mains and wired in the light. A bit nervewracking but it worked!

Lovely new ceiling lamp

I have finally ditched the headscarves as I now have enough hair to look plausibly like another short-haired person, and I feel great. It's a little windy round my ears though, I wasn't prepared for the cold! But I'm enjoying how low-maintenance it is. Someone at work said 'big earrings and lippy' so I've taken that on board.

Rocking the short hair

I'll update you all after the op! Fingers crossed it all goes well.

Dem bones

Today I had a full-body bone scan, in the Nuclear Medicine department at St Bart's. I had to be there at 11am in order for them to inject some radioactive tracer into my arm. Then I had to leave for a while, so that the radioactivity could do its thing, and come back to the hospital for my scan at 2pm.

In the interim, I had lunch with my friend Eva, who has just come back from holidaying in Argentina, and she joined me at my wig consultation. The NHS supply free and subsidised wigs for cancer patients, and there is a lovely woman called Vicky who has a shop in the ground floor of the West Wing of St Bart's, where she fits wigs for people, as well as headscarves, prosthetics, and other services. I had hoped it would be a fun trying-on session but unfortunately Vicky just supplied us with a catalogue, filled with rather un-cool looking chavvy ladies, with names like 'Shonella', and we had to choose from the pictures. There was only one style that I really liked, so I've ordered that in three colours, and I will get to try them on next week. But at least it was a fun excuse to have lunch with Eva! As I mentioned before, I'm still on the fence as to whether or not I'd like to wear a wig. I think I'd rather just rock the headscarf look as I'm not that interested in pretending I have hair, but as the NHS provide this service for free, I figured I'd take a look at what the options are, and it might be nice to have a wig as a back-up for those days when I really don't want to stand out.

I had to drink lots of water over lunch, to flush the radioactivity round my system. I'm really not quite sure how this works, when the radioactivity goes into your veins and the water goes into your mouth, but hey, that's medical science. (Edit: I just googled this and apparently it is to flush out any excess radioactivity that doesn't go into my bones.) Then I had to lay down on this machine:

They moved those two flat plates as close to my body as possible and then s.l.o.w.l.y moved them all the way down my body. Apparently, if the cancer has spread to any part of my bones, the tracer will either gather there or miss it out completely, so they will be able to see from the scan if there are any areas where there is either too much or too little tracer.

As the nuclear technologist operating the machine, R___, reminded me, the machine isn't radioactive, I am! Apparently I am not allowed hug a pregnant person for 48 hours. Stay away, pregnant people!

So now the scan is done I have to wait for the test results, which will go through to my oncologist before I see her next. I also have a CT scan next week, and will get even more blood tests to see how my first round of chemo has affected my blood.

A little update on my general health. It's now Day 9 of my first chemo cycle, and I'm feeling really good. I had two days back at work before my day off today, and although I was still a little spacey on the first day, by yesterday I was almost completely back to my usual self. Much more energetic, coordinated and with my cognitive abilities intact! I'm still very tired in the evenings and have been getting afternoon headaches, but nothing to be worried about. Today I walked the farthest I have walked since chemo. Walking is one of my favourite things, and definitely the key to my good mental health. I love walking, and often choose to walk the hour to work, along London's canals, listening to audiobooks or podcasts, and enjoying every element of it. Since chemo I have had very little energy so walking has been crossed off the list, much to my dismay. I have tried some little local walks but am fatigued after only 15 minutes. Today I had to walk into uni to hand in a deferral form for one of my assessments (I have an essay due on Monday which Chemo Brain will not allow me to do!), which at my usual pace is a 40-minute round trip. I walked at a slower pace than usual, and stopped on two benches each way, but I made it there and back with no dramas. Hurrah! Also, the pauses were pleasant. I walk through a lovely old building to uni called Waterhouse Square, a magnificent old red brick facade with leaded windows and slate roofs, and while I paused on a bench I noticed a plaque I'd never seen before: Charles Dickens, novelist, lived here. The things you notice when you stop for a while.

The buildings in Waterhouse Square

Charles Dickens lived here

My other bench view on my journey to uni: the old trees in Lincoln's Inn Fields