The schedule was packed, with guest speakers including a brilliant medical oncologist who gave us a whistle-stop tour of cancer, prognoses and treatments, as well as new studies and the future of cancer treatment; a presentation by a nutritionist about diet, nutrition and cancer; and a fab session on exercise and its importance in fighting cancer and preventing it from returning, as well as keeping my energy levels up while going through treatment and fatigue. There were also smaller break-out sessions on menopause symptoms (yes, I will have the joys of hot flushes etc so needed some tips and tricks); intimacy and sexuality (that discussion definitely stays within those four walls); and a 'laughter yoga' session (quite bizarre but strangely energising). Did you know that laughter is proven to release hormones in the body which actually help to boost your immune system and fight depression? I think I'll be booking more tickets to comedy events in the future. The chap leading the session also talked about how life isn't black and white, in that tears don't always = sadness and laughter doesn't always = happiness. There is awkward laughter, you can laugh with relief, confusion, or with empathy. And there are tears of joy, you can be moved to tears by something beautiful, you can cry with empathy and relief, and sometimes tears are a release. It sounds obvious, but it was good to be reminded of this simple fact.
Without doubt, the best thing about the event was meeting 39 other phenomenal women, from all different walks of life across the South of England, at various stages of their treatment, and feeling like I could speak freely about what I'm going through and take strength and advice from their experiences. There was plenty of over-sharing, a fat dollop of black humour, tears, hugs and a lot of laughter. There were bald women, women with one boob, flat-chested women, women with fluffy post-chemo hair growth, other women in headscarves, women a couple of years post-treatment who had run marathons and swum Lake Windermere to raise money for cancer charities. Every single one of these women is phenomenal, strong, a warrior woman. I took something from every encounter, I was inspired by their stories, I got plenty of tips for dealing with what the future holds, and I made new friends. I'm relatively early on my cancer journey, and there's a long way to go, but I feel less scared and alone knowing these women are by my side.
My favourite talk of the event was the closing one, by an amazing woman called Kelly who was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2006, just as she'd quit her job and was about to embark on a round-the-world trip with her fiance. She took us through her journey with all its good times and dark days, which included a mastectomy, chemo, appearing with Gok Wan on 'How to Look Good Naked', her wedding, cancer recurrence four years later, more chemo, a new calling as an underwear model and training department store ladies how to help post-surgery women find lingerie, etc. She found new reserves of inner strength, and confronted her biggest fears. I found myself crying throughout her talk, but not simple tears of sadness. I felt recognition, I saw into my future a little, I was inspired by her attitude, by her honesty, by her fragility and her strength all at once. I really hope that when I am no longer receiving treatment and with luck when I am well, that I will be able to help and inspire other women earlier than I on their journeys.
So now I'm back home, and I have a few days off as the wonderful Rosser family are visiting from Australia so I'm enjoying spending a few days with them. It's so lovely having my Australian family finally meet Tanai! And then I head off for my fourth chemo on Wednesday, after which I will finally be half way through chemo. I met a woman at the BCC event who had a similar diagnosis to me, except that her tumour was twice the size. She had what's called a 'complete pathalogical response', which means that by the end of her chemo, when they carried out scans and biopsies before her surgery, they could no longer find any cancer in her breast. They still did some small surgery, to excise the margins around where her tumour was, but it prevented her from needing a mastectomy. Fingers crossed the same thing happens for me!
Here are some recent headscarf photos for those of you not on instagram. I've had some wonderful gifts of fabric and scarves, and I'm really enjoying trying even more new styles. Although in this recent heat, I may have to rock the bald look!
Top left: a gorgeous scarf from my Auntie Siobhan who bought it while on holiday in Morocco. Top right: two scarves tied with a 'double halo' style as demonstrated by Yassmin Abdel-Magied. Bottom left: some gorgeous Marimekko fabric from the Rossers which I finally got hemmed. Bottom right: my scarf from Knots UK, tied in a unicorn style.
